Settle In

So... you might want to find a nice cozy corner for this one because it might get uncomfortable. If it's not uncomfortable, I hope it at least makes you think. In this season of life, there have been reoccurring themes, rewards and rest. Some disruption outside of my control has brought quick rewards, but what has caught my attention more is the reoccurring invitation to settle in.

Changes at work, a growing teenager, connecting with extended family, acceptance that my husband and I are approaching empty nesting, instead of fear and anxiety, the invitation to settle in has been prominent. In my daily devotionals, in The Covenant collective group of women, friend phone conversations, and random Instagram posts, the message has been clear. Settle into the life that has been made available to you, which also means fully accept the fruit of your decisions.

We are living in the fruit of our decisions. The consequences of hard yes', reluctant no's, and trusting God's leading without knowing the actual outcome. It's interesting that when it's time to settle in, outside voices can sometimes get louder. People want to weigh in on rooms they weren't in, experiences they did not have, and decisions they never would have made if God Himself came into the room. Some people will never understand the joy and burden of doing things God's way, but I think that's the point. They say it doesn't make sense, and God says just keep watching.

When it's time to settle in, you do not have time to go back and explain your why because even if you could tell the whole story, they still would not get it. Can you look your creator in the eye (figuratively of course) and know He is pleased even when people are not? Do you remember when He gave you that instruction that seemed to bring more destruction, but along the way you learned tearing down and rebuilding was always His plan? Has he kept His word, did He leave you or forsake you? Can you be honest and agree that His way was better even when the outcome was not what you wanted or expected?

My answer to all of those questions is YES. He has told me directly and through strangers that don't know my story He is pleased. Tearing down and rebuilding is when God does His best work, when we stay out of His way. That hard yes and reluctant no was protection. He never left me, and He is right here still leading, still revealing, still working. My life is proof that His way is always best. I have learned to expect Him to keep His word without adding my expectations of how He will keep His word.

A different level of joy erupts when you look at your life in its current state, flaws, imperfections, stories, and pain coupled with growth, abundance, joy, and more stories, and you still have a complete yes in your heart. That is the miracle.

It's time to settle in your life, your decisions, your healing, your growth, and your obedience. Don't allow anyones opinion of a life they didn't live, steal the joy that was cultivated in tears and hard decisions. Settle in, embrace joy, and don't feel guilty about the blessings that come with it.

I will share something that few people know about me. The biggest gift I have given to those who have caused me the deepest pain is operating in obedience concerning them. The holy spirit gets all the credit after I say yes. If He says call, I call. If He says send a gift, I send it. If He says apologize (I wrestle), but I apologize. If God can trust you with His children (the stubborn ones, the selfish ones, the inconsiderate ones, all the ones), there isn't much He can't trust you with. I know I can trust Him, but everytime I lead in love, I show Him He can trust me.

He can trust that I won't interfere with His plan (intentionally). He can trust that I will assist with His plan. He can also trust that I will embrace moments of humility because I am not perfect either. I am boasting in the Lord because the secret to abundance is obedience. I am surrounded by an abundance of support, love, wisdom, knowledge, and provision because of one big yes to Him and the "small" ones over the years that have led to this moment.

I am learning to live as boldly in the open, as I lived in secret. I am learning that the ultimate goal was never happiness but abundant joy that remains. I am learning that I thought some of those moments were to change others, but they were really to change me. I am learning to operate in a level of freedom I did not know existed. I am also learning that everyone will not receive that level of freedom for themselves, and that's okay too.

I have heard people say they want to die empty. I am saying I want to live fully. I am settling in, and this is an invitation for you to do the same, boldly, loudly, and freely. It's not because everything is perfect, it's because I am surrounded by fruit, some to share, some to enjoy, and some for seeds to plant again.

Settle in. Root it in gratefulness, fertilize it with honesty, and water it with worship. He is creating more capacity for joy that remains and that is the fruit I desire most in this season. There was a time when joy seemed out of reach, and I didn't believe it would ever return. God told me a couple of years ago, "I am planting a seed of joy in your heart." I did not believe Him. In His love and kindness, He was patient with me.

He led me slowly, and that seed grew. In every moment of obedience the roots grew deeper, and His grace covered the moments when I wasn't obedient. Every offense, every call, every opportunity that I didn't take to get revenge, that seed grew. When I wanted change and He said be still, when I wanted justice and He said not yet, when I almost responded in rage and He said peace be still, that seed grew. He did what a good Father does. He protected that seed. He covered it. He shielded it. He hid it. He nurtured it. Now I have lived the scripture the joy of the Lord is our strength, and a lived word is something that cannot be stolen from you.

What seed has He planted in your heart? Even if you don't believe Him yet, keep walking with Him.

What fruit has sprung up that it's time to enjoy, share, and replant? Someone needs to eat so they can survive.

What do you need to settle in so you can transition from surviving to living fully?

It's time to settle in.