The Meeting Became a Mirror

Soooo... if you have read my book or any of my blogs, you know God is really good at catching me off guard. I will just walk in a room with no expectations but open, and He reminds me how much He cares, how intentional He is, and how little I know. I can be too sure sometimes so that's how He keeps me flexible and pliable in His hands.

A little background, my daughter played JV basketball this year and for the first time I was a team mom. I enjoyed decorating the locker room, prepping for holiday parties, creating snack bags for the girls, just a different way to show up and support. I met a super sweet mom in the process and in the middle of the season she shared a women's event called The Pause in our mom's chat.

I wanted to go because I needed it, but it did not fit our schedule, and a simple text turned into a rabbit hole moment. I am not embarrassed to say this happens to me a lot. I wanted to know who was hosting, any other events they were having, I started to dig.

In the process I learned about Dr. Kassar, Coach Porcha, Chosen Counseling and Coaching Services, and their book Eyes Wide Open. Rabbit hole moments require action, so I bought the book. That led to a 21 day fast as I read the book and I was wrecked in the best way possible. This is a perfect example of moving toward what you want, not getting what you want, but in the process getting what you need.

Fast forward to February, I received an email from Dr. Kassar about a new collective, a group of women coming together to support, build, and sharpen vision. I immediately felt I needed to be in the room, but I already had a meeting on the calendar so I responded to make sure the zoom meeting would be recorded and shared.

That one email started one of the craziest days for me, work, family, chaos, and then a meeting cancelation. I was going to be in the room.

I joined the zoom call and then realized I would be the only 1 present along with the 3 partners for the collective. The other women that signed up could no longer make it, and immediately I felt set up. You would think after all this time I would not be caught off guard, but here I was on a recorded zoom call, with strangers, alone, reminding myself, "Stay open Breanna."

It started with introductions, sharing the vision, purpose, and the origin of the idea. I breathe, and my shoulders began to slowly come down. I shared about Mom Dreams, this place of transition, and how timely this was, you know the easy stuff.

I have been needing a room, a safe place with other women to renew. As I pour out, I need to be poured into and I immediately recognized that this room of strangers was the answer. I didn't pray for it, but God gave an answer to a need in my heart.

Then things took a turn. I think we had too much time left, but that's just me. Dr. Kassar flows and decides to use this time to "root me in identity." The foundation of the collective. The questions began to come. "Who rejected you?" I know this one, you know the easy stuff. "Who told you or made you feel like you were too much?" The pen pauses and panic slowly starts to creep in. The big one, "Who benefited from you shrinking?"

By now, I'm cooked because I signed up for an intro meeting, and now in a room full of strangers, I was going to have to be raw, open, and transparent without preparation or my consent. I know you may think because I wrote a book that this is easy for me. It is not. At least when I'm talking about Mom Dreams I have some control over what will be shared because the book is written. I can guide the conversation and honestly have some sense of control.

That sense of control exited the stage with that last question. I held it together and avoided ugly crying on the zoom call that would be shared with strangers, but the fruit of that conversation was, I am a God idea. I got coached into an identity rooted in a deeper understanding of who I am.

You can't deny it's a God thing because of how it happened, and the Father knows His daughter. I left that room sure I was where I was supposed to be. It sounds so simple. I am a God Idea, but if you think about it, it's revelation.

We spend so much time in our life trying to figure out what we are supposed to do. What is the problem I was created to fix? What is the God idea that's going to fix it? We hear sermons about how we are one idea away from a breakthrough. If we settle in the truth that we are the God idea; how we think, how we are wired, how we see, our passions, the things that move us from anger to action, we will realize just being is enough.

Just being and choosing to align with God's word, His timing, and His plan removes a layer of stress that we add to the process. His process, at times, can be hard enough without our hands or help. I encourage you to release the layer that you added and settle in the truth. You are a God Idea. You are enough. Everything you need is already in you, and where you feel like you fall short, God is the difference maker.

If you didn't have any weakness, you would not have an awareness of your need of Him. Your weakness is needed because God created us for relationship with Him and others. We connect through our weakness. We grow, we build, and we help others because we understand the lived experience. Weakness does not make you weak, it is a reality of being human.

The meeting that became a mirror taught me something I never fully knew or embraced. I am a God idea, and that is the place I must build from in this season, AND that is a firm foundation.

If you are a woman who feels she can benefit from support, Chosen Counseling and Coaching Services may be a great place for you to start. It's not the collective, but it was the unexpected one on one that shifted my perspective. It created space for me to hold something as I build the second phase of Mom Dreams. It helped me identify the cracks in my foundation, and no matter how high you elevate or what you accomplish, we all need support.

God and I are still unpacking "I am a God idea," but what came from this place is the statement below. One I see and read daily.